Thursday, November 11, 2010

Reflections: Words for a friend

I have a friend out there who seems to be suffering. I think of that person as a friend even while I'm not sure they would consider me one, and recognizing I've used a lot of less pleasant terms in the past, and that I've made a lot of assumptions about who they are or might have been.

I'm never really sure what to say when seeing someone, anyone, suffer. Having been in that position myself in the past, I know that saying anything can be more hurtful than helpful. But it seems I haven't mastered being indifferent. (And thank goodness because I don't think of equanimity and indifference as the same things.)

I could say a lot about how their suffering came to be. For one thing I can say they have been craving a reflection without truly understanding the source of that image. But its easy for me to say, seeing things from a different perspective and is likely not what they need to hear. So what do I say?

I can say from my own experience the only way up is sometimes down and through. And while 'through' likely seems at the moment to be endless, that's not true. I can say that while the urge, for me, under those circumstances is to curl up into self in reflexive reaction, try to see the interconnectedness and beauty of all living things. If it doesn't work the first time, eventually it will.

Even as I write these words, I recognize that I may be giving them to my own self at sometime in the future, and am wondering about how I would see them. How insubstantial, inconsequential and unhelpful words are at times...

No comments: